Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Screenwriting: Effective Action Lines


Thelma and Louise, Yo
Thelma and Louise perform their signature move "The Evel Knievel"
The saying goes that rules were meant to be broken. Well, if you want your work to be relegated to the trash bin, then jump in that Thunderbird with Thelma and Louise and follow them off the cliff.
Now, I’m going to make a psychic prediction. I sense that while reading this article you’ll be thinking to yourself,  “I’ve read movie scripts by Shane Black and Charlie Kaufman and they don’t follow these rules. You must be wrong. Well, as the other saying goes, when you’re Shane Black you can write however you damn well please.
Before we go on, let’s break that one down for a second. Why is there a discrepancy between the style and technical aspects of the produced scripts you read online and what I am about to tell you?
Basically, until you are a KNOWN quantity in Hollywood, with a reputation for being a great writer, you are assumed to be Just Another Crappy One.  So until the day comes when you’re recognized for your genius, you have to write better than the professionals. And that means you have to follow a few rules in order to help make your script a fast, crisp, easy read.
If your script is lucky enough to land in an agent’s (or producer’s) take home pile, and you’re just another random writer, you’ve got about 5 pages to prove you can actually write.  And for an unknown, that means they want a quick read. If you can deliver that – even if other aspects are less than stellar – you will have a huge leg up on the competition.
Ready to get started? Here’s how you’re going to do it:
Rule #1: Every paragraph of action lines should be 3 lines or less.
Below you will find an excellent example and one you should study: the first two pages of the script for Saving Private Ryan.
Entire scripts, as a rule, are like poems. If I were to write the previous sentence as a line of action in a script, it would read simply “Scripts are like poems.”
As such, you use the least amount of words possible, and don’t spend any time describing action or setting than we need to understand story, character, or to move the plot forward. As well, remember to keep everything in present tense.
The best of the best keep it at two lines per paragraph throughout most of the script, while still describing a heck of a lot.
Rule #2: Write Visually!
On the opening page of Saving Private Ryan you will see exactly what I’m talking about. Short sentences. Terse description. Easy to visualize. Evocative verbs.
This is how spec writers need to execute if they are to be taken seriously.
If you can use an arresting verb in place of a ho-hum or standard one, DO IT. For a simple example, it’s much more interesting to read, “The script slides across the table” than “the script gets passed across the table”.
Every single one of those four aspects is important (short sentences, terse description, easy to visualize and evocative verbs), so take each one into account and study how it’s done in these two pages. And though this is an action script, yes, this applies to all genres.
Now, look at the word choices:  SWARM of landing craft. ROAR of naval guns. SNOWSTORM of bullets. We can see the carnage in our heads, and all in very little time and page space.
As well, don’t be afraid of white space on the page. White space is, like, your total BFF, and the key to an easy read. As long as you can balance action lines that only tells us what we need to know with the dialogue, keep that speeding script on full throttle.
Rule #3:  Only write what we can SEE or HEAR on screen – and nothing more.
This is where Shane Black’s word flourishes differ most from what I’m suggesting you do. Remember, you’re not writing a novel – this is a screenplay. If you write wonderful prose, the audience won’t ever know it and the industry reader could give a sh*t. You’re wasting his or her time on things that either won’t end up on screen anyway, or illustrate to them that you obviously don’t know how to properly write in screenplay format.
It’s amusing and it works when it’s Shane Black because we already know he’s a hotshot. No one knows you from Joe Blow (yet).
Screenwriting 101 is about finding ways to convey character’s feelings, emotions, and layers through their actions – what they literally do on screen. This is an example I encountered recently:
She’s hurting inside, and we can see it. She’s a fighter though, so finding her inner composure, she puts the journal down on the table.
That’s lazy, amateurish screenwriting for several reasons:
1: Have the character DO something. Movies are about the external, novels are about the internal. Remember the format, always.
2: This is a character’s turning point, and it’s not only lacking visual dynamics, but even worse, it’s boring.
An example of how this could have read:
She angrily wipes away a tear before slamming the journal down on the table.
This is more visually interesting and tells us much more about her internal feelings – all without dialogue. You can convey so much more about the story, characters, and theme with action lines and what we see a character DO than you can with dialogue. Which is just one more reason why writing great action lines can be your magic bullet.
If you can fill the script with those amazing silent moments (check out the VERDICT video in the link above) that bring to life a character and who they are, or those small, brilliant moments that define a great movie – you are two steps ahead of everyone else. One great example of a small, brilliant moment is in the Godfather, when Michael calmly and coldly closes the door in his wife’s face as she lets out a sob. Or, of course,  the very last minute of  The Graduate.
Rule #4: Never Use Camera Directions In Your Script
I can already see the hate mail piling up now. I know this one is a particularly controversial rule and there are adamant defenders of having *some* camera directions in a script, but I can tell you from industry experience: people hate that sh*t.
All the way around, really. Directors hate it because they think you’re trying to tell them how to do their job. Actors hate it because “it gets in the way” or they don’t understand it. Execs hate it because they think you’re full of yourself, and Reps and Producers think it’s the sign of an amateur. If any of these types of people see camera directions in the first few pages, it could be the very excuse they need to throw the script away without reading anymore (those tales of tall read piles? Not fictional. We really do look for any reason to stop reading a script).
At the end of the day, that’s really what these rules are all about – protecting yourself and your script. Getting an agent or selling your first script are already uphill battles – don’t make it any harder on yourself than it has to be. Give yourself the best opportunity to get your script read from cover to cover, and write action lines better than a pro so that they can’t use your technical writing skills as an excuse to throw your script away.
Write an easy read, with crisp action that evoke great images while using the least amount of words possible.
In the end, it turned out my screenwriting teachers were right. So don’t take years to learn the hard way like I did – integrate this stuff into your scripts right now. Your work will improve drastically, and you’ll be one step closer to your dream by having a studio ready script.
Good luck and happy writing!
Here’s your weekly inspiration for a four-quandrant high-concept movie idea:
Venn Diagram
Who else smells an ODD COUPLE remake?


Go forward and win!

If you need help with formatting your script, try my editing service for screenplays.


Screenplays
Editing: $45.00 Flat Fee

  •  Evaluating formatting to industry standards
  •  Spelling, grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, etc.


Critique: $50.00 Flat Fee
 Includes evaluating the basis elements of a script

  •  Introduction
  •  Development
  •  Climax
  •  Conclusion
  • Character development 
  •  Mid point development

Critiques also provide suggestions for improvements and enhancement. 


Payments are made by Paypal or cashier check by mail.


Feel free to contact me at ahicks4298@q.com or call at (360) 696-4298. address or ask for Frances.




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Ending your Novel Or Screenplay With a Punch

Now for the big ending!


In learning how to end your novel or screenplay with a punch, it’s important to know what you can and can’t do to write success novel endings that attract agents, publishers, producers, and, most important, readers and viewers. Here are the dos and don’ts of writing a strong closer.
Don’t introduce any new characters or subplots. Any appearances within the last 50 pages of a novel or last 30 pages of a script should have been foreshadowed earlier, even if mysteriously.
Don’t describe, muse, explain or philosophize. Keep description to a minimum, but maximize action and conflict. You have placed all your charges. Now, light the fuse and run.
Do create that sense of Oh, wow! Your best novelties and biggest surprises should go here. Readers love it when some early, trivial detail plays a part in the finale. One or more of those things need to show up here as decisive elements.
Do enmesh your reader deeply in the outcome. Get her so involved that she cannot put down your novel or screenplay to anything else or read anything else until she sees how it turns out.
DO Resolve the central conflict. You don’t have to provide a happily-ever-after ending, but do try to uplift. Readers want to be uplifted, and editors try to give readers what they want.
Do Afford redemption to your heroic character. No matter how many mistakes she has made along the way, allow the reader—and the character—to realize that, in the end, she has done the right thing.
Do Tie up loose ends of significance. Every question you planted in a reader’s mind should be addressed, even if the answer is to say that a character will address that issue later, after the book or screenplay ends.
Do Mirror your final words to events in your opener. When you begin a journey of writing a novel or screenplay, already having established a destination, it’s much easier to make calculated detours, twists and turns in your storytelling tactics. When you reach the ending, go back to ensure some element in each of your complications will point to it. It’s the tie-back tactic. You don’t have to telegraph the finish. Merely create a feeling that the final words hearken to an earlier moment in the story.
Don’t change voice, tone or attitude. An ending will feel tacked on if the voice of the narrator suddenly sounds alien to the voice that’s been consistent.
Don’t resort to gimmicks. No quirky twists or trick endings. You’re at the end of your story, and if your reader has stuck with you the whole time, it’s because you’ve engaged her, because she has participated. The final impression you want to create is a positive one. Don’t leave your reader feeling tricked or cheated.
**************************************************************************************** 



Go forward and win!

If you need help with formatting your script, try my editing service for screenplays.


Screenplays
Editing: $45.00 Flat Fee

  •  Evaluating formatting to industry standards
  •  Spelling, grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, etc.


Critique: $50.00 Flat Fee
 Includes evaluating the basis elements of a script

  •  Introduction
  •  Development
  •  Climax
  •  Conclusion
  • Character development 
  •  Mid point development

Critiques also provide suggestions for improvements and enhancement. 


Payments are made by Paypal or cashier check by mail.


Feel free to contact me at ahicks4298@q.com or call at (360) 696-4298. address or ask for Frances.




Film script format, writing film scripts, screenwriting services, coverage service, screenplay formatting margins, screenplay writing, screenplay format example, Search terms: screenplays, screenwriting service, edit and critique service, writing screenplays, screenplay format, loglines, query letter, film scripts, movie scripts, screenplay format, screenplay synopsis, script synopsis, treatment, proofreading service for writers, novels, writing services, fiction writing, film script format, writing flim scripts, screenwriting service, coverage service, screenplay critique service, screenplay format margins, screenplay writing, screenplay format example, free writing tutorials,   script consultant, screenwriting jobs, film production companies 

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Screenwriting:Revision Tips

After working so hard on your masterpiece script, if you read it right away, you will least likely see anything wrong with it. I advise a writer to set his or her script aside for four weeks and not look at it. Let it clear out of your mind. After the last day of the fourth week, start reading the script to make revisions. By then your mind will be clean and fresh, ready view the story more critically. As you read, ask yourself the following questions about the story and answer them.

1. Does the book start with an inciting incident that will force your MC to act, and challenge your MC to grow? 

2. Is there is enough emotion, tension, suspense, etc.? Or too much? 

3. Is something too obvious? Does something come too easy because you need it to advance the plot?

4. What can you do to make each scene stronger? 

5. How can you weed out your cliched sentences and/or ideas? 

6. Is there a motivation for each event? What about a purpose? 

7. Are you keeping your MC from attaining a goal? This is a must until the ending. 

8. Will your reader wonder about or hope for something pertaining to your MC as they progress through the story? 

These questions can help a writer look at his or her story in a more critical way and make improvements that will strengthen the plot.


DON'T SERVE UP BIG CHUNKS OF NARRATIVE
If your paragraphs are over three sentences, consider breaking them up into smaller, more digestible chunks. White spaces do not only keep the pages looking clean, they just make the whole thing easier on the eyes. 

Huge slabs of words look unappetizing and ultimately turn us off. You want to establish a free and loose rhythm with short paragraphs so the reader's eyes will move quickly down the page, devouring words. There's a psychology at work here. Screenplays are works of action; they must move nimbly. 

If your script resembles a 19th century Russian novel, then the reader will feel like he has to slog his way through it, no matter what the content. Making your script appealing to read is not merely cosmetic, it is crucial. 

IF THE CAMERA CAN'T SHOW IT, THEN WE CAN'T SEE IT 
Consider this:

EXT - BUSY CITY STREET - DAY

JADE, a conservative, no-nonsense gal who graduated Yale third in her class, stands on the street corner and hails a cab. 

Did we witness her being conservative and no-nonsense in any way? Did anyone mention where she went to school and how well she did? If not, then how can we possibly know this?

These attributes can easily be revealed by some illuminating actions or dialogue. But unless we can actually see it on screen, we can't know it. Remember the limitations of the camera lens.

KEEP THE CAMERA INVISIBLE
There is nothing more distracting and frustrating than trying to become absorbed in the flow of narration and having it constantly interrupted by speed bumps like CLOSE ON, PULL BACK, DOLLY UP, PAN DOWN and a truckload of other needless directions. Reading camera shot after camera shot in the narration is not just supremely annoying, it wrecks the rhythm.

Remember, your script is a reading script, not a shooting script. It should flow like a story with dialogue and narration. Never mind the technical angles and calling every single shot, as those will be determined by the director anyway. Just captivate us with a good story and let us visualize it in our heads.


DON'T TELL US WHAT WE SEE AND HEAR--SHOW US
Writers will sometimes use the first person in their narrative, and I find this truly unnecessary. After all, what do you really gain by writing 'We see a rat rustling in the alley' instead of 'A rat rustles in the alley?' Either way, 'we' see it, right?

Beginning sentences with needless instructions like we see, we hear, we follow, we notice, we move, etc will eventually wear on the reader's nerves. Just let it all unfold.

DON'T MARK EVERY PAGE WITH 'CONTINUED'
If there is a more profound monument to redundancy, I don't want to know what it is. If you think whoever's reading your script doesn't have the intelligence, savvy and the general kindergarten smarts to keep turning the pages, then by all means, put CONTINUED prompts at the top and bottom of your pages. 

But most of us manage to read an entire script without the instructions, thanks. It's like labeling your coffee mug with an arrow and THIS END UP.

This also goes for CUT TO: after every scene. When we see the next scene slug, then we know the next scene begins. Remember, what you're after is a clean look, so why clutter up the pages with needless directions like this?
**************************************************************************************** 



Go forward and win!




If you need help with formatting your script, try my editing service for screenplays.


Screenplays
Editing: $45.00 Flat Fee

  •  Evaluating formatting to industry standards
  •  Spelling, grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, etc.


Critique: $50.00 Flat Fee
 Includes evaluating the basis elements of a script

  •  Introduction
  •  Development
  •  Climax
  •  Conclusion
  • Character development 
  •  Mid point development

Critiques also provide suggestions for improvements and enhancement. 


Payments are made by Paypal or cashier check by mail.


Feel free to contact me at ahicks4298@q.com or call at (360) 696-4298. address or ask for Frances.




Film script format, writing film scripts, screenwriting services, coverage service, screenplay formatting margins, screenplay writing, screenplay format example, Search terms: screenplays, screenwriting service, edit and critique service, writing screenplays, screenplay format, loglines, query letter, film scripts, movie scripts, screenplay format, screenplay synopsis, script synopsis, treatment, proofreading service for writers, novels, writing services, fiction writing, film script format, writing flim scripts, screenwriting service, coverage service, screenplay critique service, screenplay format margins, screenplay writing, screenplay format example, free writing tutorials,   script consultant, screenwriting jobs, film production companies