More On Screenplay Formatting: Read & Learn

Hello, everyone.

Following are some questions concerning screenplay formatting. These are common questions that I get every week. The answers are detail. If You have any questions, feel free to ask.

Happy writing.

FIRST PERSON/THIRD PERSON

QUESTION

In the screenplay I am working on, I have a sequence where the camera is the character's eye.  During this sequence, the story is told in first person.  I would be interesting in knowing how to insert this sequence into a screenplay written in third person without [using] technical intrusions.

ANSWER

A memory hit? I don't think that term has hit the mainstream formatting lexicon yet.

When you say the "story is told in first person," I assume you mean that the character (whose eye is the camera) talks to or describes what he/she is sees.  Thus, that character's viewpointdominates in that scene.  However, the narrative description would still be written in third person.  Narrative description is always written in third person, present tense language.  (First person would involve the use of the pronouns "I" or "me."  Second person would use "you."  And third person would use "he," "she," "they," and so on.)  The fact that the eye is the camera changes nothing in terms of how you write description and dialogue.

That leaves the issue of communicating to the reader that the "camera is the character's eye."  I assume that you mean that the camera takes the point-of-view of the character--what he/she sees, we see.  You are right to want to write this without the camera directions, if possible.  In cases like this, we are all tempted to write something like the following:

If your character (let’s call him Zep) speaks while we see the flashback, then use the voice over (V.O.) extension.

POV JANE -- A man walks towards her.

You can (and should) write the same thing without the camera direction, as follows:

Jane sees a man walking towards her.

S-S-STUTTERING AND D-D-DIALECTING

QUESTION

I am writing a screenplay where the main character stutters almost all the time.  How should I indicate that in the dialogue?  I find it annoying to indicate it in parenthesis before every line of dialogue, so I came up with something like the following:

               ZEP (V.O.)
        W-what?  I-I d-don't understand.

Do you have any suggestions?

ANSWER

Just show a flavor of stuttering; that is, occasional stuttering to remind us that this character stutters.  Don't overdo it or, as you rightly said, the reader will be annoyed.  Also, when you first introduce the character, indicate that he/she stutters. The same holds true for accents and dialects--just give us a flavor.  Don't adjust the spelling of every word to show precisely how each and every word would be pronounced in a certain dialect or with a certain accent.  It will be too difficult to read. .

In THE KING’S SPEECH, the following paragraph appears in narrative description:

(For ease of reading, Bertie’s stammer will not be indicated from this point in the script.)

HOW LONG IS TOO LONG?

QUESTION

How long should a [spec] screenplay be?

ANSWER

About 100-110 pages, but certainly not more than 120 pages.  Ideally, a comedy will come in at about 100 pages and a drama or action story at 105-110.  The minimum is 90.

You may wonder why the 120-page limit when you've seen produced screenplays that are much longer than that.  In virtually every case, those long screenplays were both shooting scrits and were developed within the system; they were not spec screenplays.

That leaves the issue of communicating to the reader that the "camera is the character's eye."  I assume that you mean that the camera takes the point-of-view of the character--what he/she sees, we see.  You are right to want to write this without the camera directions, if possible.  In cases like this, we are all tempted to write something like the following:

The central theme that runs through this issue's column is to make your spec screenplay an "easy but fascinating read."

NOTE: This is the fourth column focused solely on flashbacks and the last in the series.

FLASHBACKS AND VOICE OVERS

QUESTION

How do you handle a quick memory hit? Let's say a man is telling a story to a friend about a friend getting killed by a train 30 years ago. Do I just write the image of a train killing David? [Apparently, David is the questioner's character who is killed; either that, or it's a secret message to me.] Do I need any caption such as a memory hit or quick flash?

ANSWER

A memory hit? I don't think that term has hit the mainstream formatting lexicon yet.

The standard response to questions of this type is this: Write what we see. What does the audience see? If you actually show the train, then that is a flashback and you will want to indicate a flashback. You must label it as such so that we clearly understand that it is a flashback.

If your character (let’s call him Zep) speaks while we see the flashback, then use the voice over (V.O.) extension.

FLASHBACK - TRAIN TRACKS

David sees a train coming. In a surreal game of chicken, he places himself on the tracks.

               ZEP (V.O.)
        David always flirted with
        disaster...

With the train nearly upon him, David tries to leap from the tracks, but his shirt catches on a rail tie.

He glances up at the unforgiving mass of steel.

               ZEP (V.O.)
        ... Then one day, disaster
        responded.

The wheels of the train slice through his body.

BACK TO SCENE

We can learn three lessons from the above example.

1. Notice that I avoided repeating in dialogue what we already see visually. Whenever you use a voice over in situations like this one, let that voice over dialogue add something that the visual does not already tell us. Don't just describe in your dialogue the action that you describe in your narrative.
2. Do not write something as general as "The train ran over him." Present us with concrete, visual images that we can respond to emotionally or intellectually.
3. Start a new paragraph when you switch to a new visual image. Generally, a paragraph of narrative description should present one visual image or one beat of action.

NOTE: This is the third in a series focused solely on flashbacks.

QUICK FLASHES—SITUATION #1

QUESTION

How do you handle a series of very quick flashbacks?

ANSWER

Use the same format that you would use for montage. Here's an example:

QUICK FLASHES – DUKE’S BASEBALL MEMORIES

-- Duke slides home safe. Jubilant teammates scramble to congratulate him.

-- Duke, playing shortstop, snags a hot grounder, and tosses the man out at first.

-- Duke swings at a fast ball and watches it sail over the left-field fence.

BACK TO SCENE

If you have just one quick flashback, use the following format:

QUICK FLASHBACK

Duke strikes out.

BACK TO SCENE

QUICK FLASHES—SITUATION #2

QUESTION

I have a series of quick flashbacks at the end of a short script that reference a character's memories of three different people. Do I create three flashback headings, one for each flashback?

ANSWER

You could, but I recommend you use my answer to Situation #1 above as your guide and create a series of QUICK FLASHES:

THE STORYTELLER DEVICE

QUESTION

My script is pretty much told in flashback, so would I format that as FLASHBACK, write the rest of the story until I reach the point where we come out of the flashback, and then write END OF FLASHBACK or BACK TO PRESENT DAY?

ANSWER

It appears that you are using the "storyteller device." In other words, most of your movie is one long flashback, as is the case with Saving Private Ryan. Therefore, instead of a flashback, use a SUPER (short for superimpose) that identifies the year that we flash back to.

Here's an example that assumes your character is a 71-year-old man at the beginning of the movie:

John's eyes get misty. He looks off into the distance.

EXT. SAN FRANCISCO - DAY

An 18-year-old JOHN stands at a busy intersection.

SUPER: "San Francisco, 1950."

At the end of the movie, you will return to PRESENT DAY.

A SERIES OF FLASHBACKS

NOTE: Last month we discussed flashbacks at length.  Since then, more questions on flashbacks have arisen, so I’ve decided to continue this “flashback” discussion this month and into next month.

QUESTION

I have a situation where my character recalls different scenes from the past, some of which contain dialogue, as he puts the pieces of the puzzle together.  How should I format that?

ANSWER

In most formatting situations, there is more than one possible formatting solution that is “correct.”  In this case, you could use a SERIES OF SHOTS, SERIES OF FLASHBACKS, or a MONTAGE.  With any of the above three devices, it’s perfectly okay to include dialogue.

I suggest a FLASHBACK MONTAGE where you identify the location of each FLASHBACK to help the reader recall it along with the character.  We could call these QUICK MEMORY FLASHES if your desire is for a quick succession of images.  For example:

MONTAGE – JIM’S QUICK MEMORY FLASHES

However, in this particular case, it appears that you want to insert entire scenes in succession.  I suspect you will be best off showing as little of those past scenes as possible—just the key moment of each to remind the reader.  This was done to great effect at the end of The Sixth Sense. 

In the example below, I made up the content just to illustrate one possible formatting solution to your problem.  

FLASHBACK MONTAGE - JIM REMEMBERS

-- SUZY’S BEDROOM -- Jim spots a bottle of theater blood on Suzy’s dresser.  Suzy laughs about it.

               SUZY
        Oh, my niece’s play. 

-- RESTAURANT -- Suzy’s smile fades momentarily.

               SUZY         Nature calls.

She leaves the table with her purse.  Jim watches her follow a platinum blonde into the ladies room.

-- BEACH -- Jim notices the platinum blonde watching him from the pier above him.  She turns her head.  Jim shrugs his shoulders.

...And so on.  If desired, you could replace the CAPPED locations above with complete master scene headings; for example: INT. SUZY’S BEDROOM – DAY.  That would be perfectly fine.  You could also use a non-capped version; for example: In Suzy’s bedroom, Jim spots a bottle….

Finally, you could use a different expression to identify the nature of the FLASHBACK MONTAGE, depending on your dramatic purpose.  For example: FLASHBACK MONTAGE – JIM PUTS THINGS TOGETHER. 

---

FLASHBACKS

QUESTION

Are there any special format rules for writing a flashback?

ANSWER

Since the FLASHBACK is often abused by developing writers, make sure that your use of it pays off dramatically. In terms of formatting, there are numerous correct methods. The overriding principle is to be clear.

Method 1 
In the example below, we label the flashback like we would a montage.

FLASHBACK – TRAIN ACCIDENT

Barry sees the train speeding toward him and leaps from the tracks, but his foot catches on a rail tie.

BACK TO PRESENT DAY

The above method is designed for short flashbacks that happen within a scene. For longer flashbacks, consider one of the following methods.

Method 2

FLASHBACK – EXT. TRAIN TRACKS – DAY

Method 3

EXT. TRAIN TRACKS - DAY - FLASHBACK

Or

EXT. TRAIN TRACKS - DAY (FLASHBACK)

If you use either of the above notations, then the next scene heading would follow the same pattern and look like this.

INT. HOSPITAL - DAY – BACK TO PRESENT DAY

Or

INT. HOSPITAL - DAY (BACK TO PRESENT DAY)

You can also use either of the above BACK TO PRESENT DAY notations for Method 2 as well.

If you wish, you may shorten the extension, as follows:

INT. HOSPITAL - DAY - PRESENT DAY

Or

INT. HOSPITAL - DAY (PRESENT DAY)

Alternate flashback endings for Methods 2 and 3

At the end of a flashback, you can use one of the following alternative methods to end the flashback.

END OF FLASHBACK

INT. HOSPITAL - DAY

It would also be correct to place the phrase END OF FLASHBACK flush to the right margin followed by a period, as follows:

END OF FLASHBACK.

INT. HOSPITAL - DAY

Flashbacks longer than one scene

If a flashback is more than one scene in length, you will use Method 2 or 3 for your first flashback scene heading. Subsequent scene headings will be written as normal scene headings without the word FLASHBACK. The reader will assume that each scene that follows that first flashback scene is part of the flashback until he sees END OF FLASHBACK or BACK TO PRESENT DAY in some form. Here's an example.

EXT. TRAIN TRACKS – DAY – FLASHBACK

Barry sees the train speeding toward him and leaps from the tracks, but his foot catches on a rail tie.

INT. HOSPITAL - DAY

Barry lies on a gurney. A doctor pulls a sheet over his head.

INT. OFFICE – DAY – BACK TO PRESENT DAY

Or:

INT. OFFICE – DAY – PRESENT DAY

If you wish, it's perfectly correct to label each scene heading in a flashback sequence. For example:

EXT. TRAIN TRACKS – DAY – FLASHBACK

Barry sees the train speeding toward him and leaps from the tracks, but his foot catches on a rail tie.

INT. HOSPITAL – DAY – FLASHBACK CONT'D

Barry lies on a gurney. A doctor pulls a sheet over his head.

INT. OFFICE – DAY – PRESENT DAY

Method 4

An alternative method is to label the entire flashback comprised of more than one scene as a flashback sequence.

BEGIN FLASHBACK SEQUENCE

EXT. TRAIN TRACKS - DAY

And then write out all the scenes in sequence, just as you would normally write scenes, and then end the sequence with this:

END OF FLASHBACK SEQUENCE

INT. OFFICE – DAY

HOW DO I INDENT TEXT MESSAGES

QUESTION

How do I indent text messages using Movie Magic Screenwriter?

ANSWER
There are several ways to format the content of text messages and emails.  One is to simply include the text message as part of the narrative description, as follows:

Deb looks at her smart phone screen, which reads: "U ready?"

If you want the text message to pop out, indent the content like dialogue, only without the character name.  For example:

Deb looks at her smart phone screen.  It says:

        "U ready?"

Although I prefer the previous method, an INSERT would also work:

INSERT – DEB'S SMART PHONE, which reads:

"U ready?"

BACK TO SCENE

Let's assume (as your question suggests) that you have chosen to indent a text message, or the content of an email on a computer screen, or the lengthy content of a SUPER (superimposition).  How do you do it?

Using Movie Magic Screenwriter, select the "Action" element. Then click on "Format" on the top toolbar and then "Cheat" and "Element" (F3). Select the margins you want (2.5 on the left and 2.5 on the right).

FOLLOW-UP QUESTION

Dave, since you mention SUPERs, is there more than one way to format them?

ANSWER

Yes.  If the SUPER is brief, the following method is usually preferred.

SUPER: "Washington, DC – 2020"

If the SUPER is quite long, the following method is generally used.

SUPER:

        "Long ago in a galaxy far, far
        away, there lived a strange
        old diminutive man who mixed
        up his words when he talked.
        Yet, wise was he."

Now a very long SUPER such as what we find at the beginning of the Star Wars episodes would be called a SCROLL.  Format it exactly like the SUPER; just substitute the word SCROLL.  Avoid the terms TITLES and TITLE CARD. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

SLO-MO

QUESTION

I'd love your advice on scenes designed for slow-motion.  Should this just be left out, or should there be some specific format for slow-motion shots?

ANSWER
As a general guideline, stay away from technical effects like slow motion.  On the other hand, if you have a good dramatic or comedic reason for the effect, go ahead and include it.  With slow motion, just write:

SLOW MOTION

Write out the action as you normally would, and then write:

END SLOW MOTION

Or:

END SLOW MOTION.

ACTION AND PARENTHETICALS

QUESTION

Is the following example a correct use of parentheticals?

                   JACK
              (grabs Jill by the hand)  
          Could sure use some water,my dear. 

            
(a beat; starts up the hill)

                   JILL    
          (snatches the bucket
               out of his hand)
        Sounds like a good idea, Jack.
               (swings bucket around
               and around as they near
               the well)

ANSWER

No.  Action should be written as action, unless that action can be described in just a few words (for example, “snatching the bucket”).  Also, do not end a dialogue block with a parenthetical; end it with dialogue.  Finally, the dialogue in the example above is stiff; let’s make it more natural.  At the same time, we’ll try to give the scene a little more movement.  Here is my revision.

Jack shows Jill his empty bucket.   

                   JACK  
      Water?

Jill snatches the bucket.

                   JILL  
      Race ya.

She swings the bucket around as they gallop to the well.

#   #   #   #  #   #   #   #  #   #   #   #  #   #   #   #

LOCATING THE LOCATION

QUESTION

What is the correct format for a montage that has a series of scenes at different locations, but no dialogue? 

ANSWER

There are many correct ways to format a MONTAGE or SERIES OF SHOTS.  It all depends on your purpose. 

Generally, a MONTAGE is used to describe a series of images that convey a concept, such as passage of time or falling in love.  The SERIES OF SHOTS is for a straight narrative, a chronology of events.  Naturally, the two are often used interchangeably. 

What follows is standard format for the MONTAGE.

MONTAGE - JOHN WAITS FOR MARY

-- John glances at the waiting room clock. It reads “10:00.” 

-- He stares at a door, glances back at the clock –- “10:30.”

-- He paces the room nervously –- “11:00.”  The door opens and Mary exits the bathroom. 

In your question, you describe a series of locations.  So let’s format a MONTAGE that emphasizes location.

MONTAGE - JOHN FALLS FOR MARY

-- AT A RESTAURANT -- John and Mary exchange caring glances.

-- AT THE BEACH -- John and Mary frolic in the sun.

-- ON MARY’S BALCONY -- John kisses Mary, then falls back over the railing, flailing his arms.

Of course, you don’t necessarily have to CAP your locations.  For example, you could write:

-- At a restaurant, John and Mary exchange caring glances. 

And so on.  Whatever format you decide to use, be consistent.

Let’s look at standard format for a SERIES OF SHOTS.

SERIES OF SHOTS -- John gets even.

A) John lifts a gun from his desk drawer.

B) John strides down a sidewalk. 

C) Mary answers the door.  John pulls the trigger.  A stream of water hits Mary in the face. 

As you can see, there is very little difference between the MONTAGE and SERIES OF SHOTS.  In both cases, you start with an informative heading, and then list shots in a way that best suits your purpose.  The main thing is to follow the basic form and strive for clarity so that the reader can follow. 

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